Now I consider myself a total expert in this area! Not just because I’ve done a load of research into this area, but mainly because I have a super-strong-willed daughter who will not just DO something when you ask. No, that would be too simple…. :-)
But I’ve found the way to get her to co-operate with what I need her to do (most of the time!). So here are the tactics that really work.
Today I want to share with you my top 3 favourite parenting books!
When I was a new mama and didn’t know what I was doing, these books saved me. From the knowledge in these books, I learnt how to handle my daughter’s big emotions and her stubborn behaviours and calm her down. I found guidance to parent in ways that aligned with my values – like using love and connection rather than fear and punishment to get my child through every day tasks.
Have you found that your kids seem to choose the worst times to start whining, complaining or refusing to do things - just when you have the last energy to deal with it?!
You have a crazy-busy day with all sorts of crises happening and, after all that, your son won't go to bed - he just keeps getting up. Or you come home worn out from a long day at work and your kids start fighting over who has to get in the bath first.
So what's going on? And what can you do to head this off?!
Have you ever been embarrassed by your kids' wild behaviour compared to all the other "angels" at playgroup or kinder? Or seen the calm, happy family in the park and wished your family was like that? You could be suffering from Comparisonitis!
Today I’m going to give you 3 reasons why avoiding Comparisonitis will make you much happier, and 3 ways you can cure yourself of it.
I know I'm sounding controversial with this week's blog title! But I'm not actually being that extreme - locking your child in the laundry is truly one of the discipline recommendations of one of the most widely accepted parenting approaches in Australia and overseas.
While there are many good things about this program, I want to take issue with this recommendation.
Why do they tell parents to lock their kids in the laundry?
Are you sick of the battles with your kids every time you want them to do something? Would you like to find a calmer way to get through every day with them?!
Today I have a step-by-step guide for you to shift the dynamic with your kids from conflict and battle, to calm and loving instead.
Plus, I’ve got a downloadable Cheat Sheet “6 ways to Shift from Battle to Calm” full of specific strategies you can use to shift the dynamic when you’re in the heat of the moment trying to get your kids to do something!
This week I want to give you the simplest tool I know of to react calmly when your kids are driving you crazy and you’re about to blow your top!
In fact, it’s so simple it will help you make reacting calmly an automatic habit! That way you don’t have to use valuable will-power to keep yourself calm and stop the yelling every single time your kids are difficult.
I’ve got to be honest with you: of all the challenges of parenting, I find trying to keep the spark in my marriage to be the hardest. Where does romance and fun with our partners fit in when life is just consumed by the kids’ needs, the lack of sleep and the mountains of washing?!
I know I’m not alone in finding this a challenge.
So what can we do about it? How can we regain that spark?
Today I want to tell you about what happens in OUR heads when our kids stress us out and we lose it! What's going on when parents get so triggered that we yell, get rough or punish our children? And what can we do about it?!
Does “parenting doubt” plague you? Often wondering whether your parenting choices are the right ones?
It’s hard to feel sure about your choices when you see another parent doing things differently and their child seems so much better behaved than yours. Or when your mother-in-law comments how your child is “a handful, isn’t he?”
Today I want to help you feel confident about your choices and let go of any nagging doubts. I believe there are two main ways to know if how you’re parenting is ‘right’ or not.
Do you have times where your kids are just bouncing off the walls or being hyperactive or rough? They don’t seem to listen to anything we say and just do frustrating things like throwing, hitting or running away.
For a tired parent these times can be really challenging. Sticking the kids in front of the TV or iPad can seem like a quick fix, but often they’re even worse when it’s time to turn it off and they have a massive meltdown when you try and switch it off!
So here are five quick and simple ways to calm your kids down when you need it (that don’t involve a screen)!
Has your child ever gone through a difficult stage - where they have become angry, aggressive, and totally unreasonable for weeks on end..? These phases are usually due to a big life change or a developmental leap that is stressing your child's emotional and physical system.
Parenting is hard enough, so why do we have to deal with these difficult stages and what can we do about it?
One of the most common questions parents ask me about mindful parenting is whether their child will learn to do what they’re asked - if we're gentle and kind won't they just be spoiled and out of control?!
Mindful parenting is not about being weak and just letting your children do whatever they want! We absolutely need to set firm limits for our children as part of teaching them how to live as a good person in this world. But how do we set limits without resorting to threats or punishment?
Have you heard the modern parenting advice not to say to your kids “You’re a good girl” or “You’re a bad boy”? Instead we are told to focus on the child’s actions.
But saying “good girl” and “good boy” is almost a reflex action for most people of all ages – it’s hard to break. And what really is the harm?
Well, here’s the thing. Your kids don’t have a perception about themselves as a separate entity who is either good, bad, clever or stupid. It’s never occurred to them. So when we use this kind of language we are literally creating their sense of self for them – we are teaching them who they are with our words.
According to most parents I talk to, getting kids to co-operate is up there with their biggest challenges.
Whether you need ideas to simply get your kids out the door peacefully, or help with a hitting or angry child, I’ve put together the definitive mindful parenting guide to managing meltdowns and getting kids to co-operate.
And don't miss the bonus downloadable Cheat Sheet listing the strategies you can use in those tricky situations!
SIMPLIFYING LIFE #3 – SLOWING DOWN, MAKING SPACE AND DE-SCHEDULING
The next stage in simplifying and making more space in your family life is to slow down the pace of life and schedule less. Read on for some tips for descheduling your children’s and your own lives.
That’s all good, but many parents say to me - how do we do this when we work? Well there are ways to make the down-time much more relaxing so you feel like your life is less hectic – I’ll give you some of these strategies as well.
Does your mind feel frazzled and full of too many things to juggle? The combination of fast and busy lives and the information overload of so much use of technology is causing your brain to overflow! And our children are suffering from this too.
Well, it’s not too late for you to take charge of your kids’ lives – and your own – to cut down the digital overload and get some headspace. Your children can still have a simpler, creative childhood, but it will take a bit of effort on your part to design it this way.
Read on for 5 Ways to free up childhood from technology, 5 Ways to Simplify Your Child’s Home Environment, and finally 5 Ways to Find More Headspace in your own life.
Letting your child cry at the right times can actually be good for them. What’s more, trying to stop your child from crying could actually be doing them more harm than good.
But there are two key ingredients that mark the difference between crying that’s helpful for their happiness versus potentially damaging: (1) Your connection with them and (2) Your empathy. This blog will give you a step by step process for how to ensure you get these key ingredients right.
There’s no doubt that having a baby has taken its toll on my romantic relationship with my husband – and I don’t think I’m alone on that! I recently did a survey of parents of young kids about their biggest challenges and the second biggest one, after sleep deprivation, was pressures on their relationship.
All around me friends with kids seem to be breaking up with their partners, or at least fighting a lot. It's damn hard.
So how do we keep our relationship gong through the hard times?
Sleep disruption and tiredness is THE most common challenge facing the parents I speak to and teach. It's natural for small babies to wake regularly at night for feeds and comfort, and most children take two years and sometimes more to regularly sleep through the night.
So coping with sleep disruption is a fundamental skill for parents of babies and young children! And here's where mindfulness can really help you to cut the stress of sleep loss.