When anger and shouting at your kids becomes an almost daily event you might start to wonder: Why am I so angry all the time? And how can I stop this?!
In this week’s blog I’ve distilled down the deeper reasons why we parents can feel SO angry with our kids. If you can understand what’s really triggering your anger and reactivity, you’re in a much better position to heal yourself from it.
Essentially we are taking whatever happens with our kids very personally. When we’re upset, the situation has become all about us (in our minds, at least!).
So many parents tell me that getting their toddlers and preschoolers to stay in bed at night is a real challenge. For many parents, bedtime is a battle and the evenings are so loooong, as their child just keeps getting up or calling out.
The good news is that there is a LOT you can do to help them want to stay in bed and actually go to sleep!
Click through to find out WHY your child is resisting bed time - and what you can do to help them get off to sleep sooner.
Did you know that the majority of parents think that spanking is sometimes or often a good idea?
But scientific research tells us is that spanking is not good for your child’s development – it does hurt them in the short AND long term.
And what’s more, it doesn’t even improve their behaviour!
If you’ve ever had to deal with the in-laws, your parents or even your partner telling you your child needs a “good, hard spanking”, I want to empower you with the facts so you can tell them they are wrong!
One of the THE most common questions I hear from parents with kids under 5 - how do I keep my child occupied so I can get stuff done?!
Letting the kids watch some TV is how many parents get a moment's peace to cook dinner/make calls/do housework. But what if there are other more creative games that your kids could focus on without needing you?
I've put together a guide for you: How to Keep Kids Occupied So You Can Get Stuff Done!
Now I consider myself a total expert in this area! Not just because I’ve done a load of research into this area, but mainly because I have a super-strong-willed daughter who will not just DO something when you ask. No, that would be too simple…. :-)
But I’ve found the way to get her to co-operate with what I need her to do (most of the time!). So here are the tactics that really work.
Today I want to share with you my top 3 favourite parenting books!
When I was a new mama and didn’t know what I was doing, these books saved me. From the knowledge in these books, I learnt how to handle my daughter’s big emotions and her stubborn behaviours and calm her down. I found guidance to parent in ways that aligned with my values – like using love and connection rather than fear and punishment to get my child through every day tasks.
Have you found that your kids seem to choose the worst times to start whining, complaining or refusing to do things - just when you have the last energy to deal with it?!
You have a crazy-busy day with all sorts of crises happening and, after all that, your son won't go to bed - he just keeps getting up. Or you come home worn out from a long day at work and your kids start fighting over who has to get in the bath first.
So what's going on? And what can you do to head this off?!
Have you ever been embarrassed by your kids' wild behaviour compared to all the other "angels" at playgroup or kinder? Or seen the calm, happy family in the park and wished your family was like that? You could be suffering from Comparisonitis!
Today I’m going to give you 3 reasons why avoiding Comparisonitis will make you much happier, and 3 ways you can cure yourself of it.
I know I'm sounding controversial with this week's blog title! But I'm not actually being that extreme - locking your child in the laundry is truly one of the discipline recommendations of one of the most widely accepted parenting approaches in Australia and overseas.
While there are many good things about this program, I want to take issue with this recommendation.
Why do they tell parents to lock their kids in the laundry?
Are you sick of the battles with your kids every time you want them to do something? Would you like to find a calmer way to get through every day with them?!
Today I have a step-by-step guide for you to shift the dynamic with your kids from conflict and battle, to calm and loving instead.
Plus, I’ve got a downloadable Cheat Sheet “6 ways to Shift from Battle to Calm” full of specific strategies you can use to shift the dynamic when you’re in the heat of the moment trying to get your kids to do something!
This week I want to give you the simplest tool I know of to react calmly when your kids are driving you crazy and you’re about to blow your top!
In fact, it’s so simple it will help you make reacting calmly an automatic habit! That way you don’t have to use valuable will-power to keep yourself calm and stop the yelling every single time your kids are difficult.
I’ve got to be honest with you: of all the challenges of parenting, I find trying to keep the spark in my marriage to be the hardest. Where does romance and fun with our partners fit in when life is just consumed by the kids’ needs, the lack of sleep and the mountains of washing?!
I know I’m not alone in finding this a challenge.
So what can we do about it? How can we regain that spark?
Today I want to tell you about what happens in OUR heads when our kids stress us out and we lose it! What's going on when parents get so triggered that we yell, get rough or punish our children? And what can we do about it?!
Does “parenting doubt” plague you? Often wondering whether your parenting choices are the right ones?
It’s hard to feel sure about your choices when you see another parent doing things differently and their child seems so much better behaved than yours. Or when your mother-in-law comments how your child is “a handful, isn’t he?”
Today I want to help you feel confident about your choices and let go of any nagging doubts. I believe there are two main ways to know if how you’re parenting is ‘right’ or not.
Do you have times where your kids are just bouncing off the walls or being hyperactive or rough? They don’t seem to listen to anything we say and just do frustrating things like throwing, hitting or running away.
For a tired parent these times can be really challenging. Sticking the kids in front of the TV or iPad can seem like a quick fix, but often they’re even worse when it’s time to turn it off and they have a massive meltdown when you try and switch it off!
So here are five quick and simple ways to calm your kids down when you need it (that don’t involve a screen)!
Has your child ever gone through a difficult stage - where they have become angry, aggressive, and totally unreasonable for weeks on end..? These phases are usually due to a big life change or a developmental leap that is stressing your child's emotional and physical system.
Parenting is hard enough, so why do we have to deal with these difficult stages and what can we do about it?
One of the most common questions parents ask me about mindful parenting is whether their child will learn to do what they’re asked - if we're gentle and kind won't they just be spoiled and out of control?!
Mindful parenting is not about being weak and just letting your children do whatever they want! We absolutely need to set firm limits for our children as part of teaching them how to live as a good person in this world. But how do we set limits without resorting to threats or punishment?
Have you heard the modern parenting advice not to say to your kids “You’re a good girl” or “You’re a bad boy”? Instead we are told to focus on the child’s actions.
But saying “good girl” and “good boy” is almost a reflex action for most people of all ages – it’s hard to break. And what really is the harm?
Well, here’s the thing. Your kids don’t have a perception about themselves as a separate entity who is either good, bad, clever or stupid. It’s never occurred to them. So when we use this kind of language we are literally creating their sense of self for them – we are teaching them who they are with our words.